25 Practical Tips for Getting the Best Outcome in Workplace Mediation

These tips are designed for employees, managers, HR professionals and advisers who are preparing for or participating in workplace mediation. They draw on the practical realities of how workplace mediations succeed and how they fail. Read them before the session and use them as a checklist in the days leading up to your mediation.

For tips specific to employment mediation, where the dispute is focused on exit, settlement or legal claims, see Chapter 15b.

Before the Mediation

1. Be honest with yourself about what you actually want

Before anything else, be clear about what a good outcome would look like for you. Not your best case, not what you feel entitled to, but what would genuinely allow you to move forward and work effectively. People who arrive at mediation with a realistic sense of their own objectives make far better decisions in the room than those who have not done this work.

2. Distinguish your position from your interests

Your position is what you say you want. Your interests are the underlying needs and concerns that your position is designed to address. These are often different. Think carefully about what you really need from this process, not just what you have said you want. This distinction is explored in depth in Chapter 9.

3. Think carefully about the other person’s perspective

Try to understand the dispute from the other person’s point of view. You do not have to agree with their perspective. But understanding it, and being able to demonstrate that you have considered it, is one of the most powerful tools in a workplace mediation. It opens doors that a purely positional approach keeps firmly shut.

4. Know your realistic alternatives

If the mediation does not produce an agreement, what happens next? Be honest about what that process will involve, how long it will take, how much it will cost in terms of time and stress, and what outcome it is realistically likely to produce. This assessment will help you make better decisions about what to accept in the mediation room.

5. Identify your bottom line in advance

Before you go into the mediation, decide what the minimum outcome is that you could genuinely accept. Having a clear bottom line prevents you from making concessions in the heat of the moment that you will later regret. It also helps you recognise a good agreement when you see one.

6. Prepare emotionally as well as practically

Workplace mediations can be emotionally intense. Think in advance about how you will manage strong emotions if they arise. If you know that certain topics or behaviours are likely to provoke a strong reaction, think about how you will respond rather than react. The mediator will help manage the emotional dynamics, but your own emotional preparation is also important.

7. Read any materials sent by the mediator carefully

If the mediator has asked you to prepare a written summary or has sent information about the process, read it carefully and respond thoughtfully. Pre-mediation materials give the mediator the context they need to plan the session effectively. A well-prepared pre-mediation summary can also help you clarify your own thinking before the day.

8. Speak to the mediator in the pre-mediation meeting openly

Many mediators hold a brief individual meeting or call with each party before the main session. Use this as an opportunity to be genuinely open about your perspective, your concerns and what you are hoping for. The mediator’s role is to help you, and they can only do that effectively if they understand your situation. What you say in the pre-mediation meeting is confidential.

During the Mediation

9. Listen actively and without interrupting

One of the most valuable things you can do in a joint session is to listen genuinely to what the other person is saying. Not to prepare your response, not to identify what they have got wrong, but to actually hear their experience and their perspective. People who feel heard in mediation are far more likely to reach an agreement than those who do not.

10. Speak about your experience, not about the other person’s behaviour

When you have the opportunity to speak, focus on the impact that the situation has had on you rather than on what you think the other person did wrong. Statements about how you felt and what you experienced are far more likely to be heard constructively than accusations or judgments about the other person’s conduct.

11. Use private sessions with the mediator fully

Private sessions are the engine of most workplace mediations. Use them to explore your options, to test your thinking, to raise concerns you would not feel comfortable raising in the joint session and to consider possibilities that you might be reluctant to put forward directly. What you say in a private session is completely confidential.

12. Be willing to acknowledge the other person’s perspective, even where you disagree

Acknowledging that you understand why the other person feels the way they do is not the same as agreeing with them. It is a powerful signal of good faith that can transform the atmosphere in a mediation. It is also often the thing that the other person most needs to hear before they are able to engage constructively with the future.

13. Focus on the future, not on relitigating the past

Workplace mediation is future-focused. Its purpose is to produce a practical agreement about how you will work together going forward, not to establish a definitive account of what happened in the past. Spending too much time relitigating past events keeps both parties in a backward-looking, adversarial mindset that makes agreement harder.

14. Be creative about solutions

The solutions available in workplace mediation are not limited to the options available in a formal grievance procedure. Mediation can produce outcomes such as changes to working arrangements, adjustments to roles or reporting lines, changes to communication patterns, management commitments about how certain situations will be handled in future, and many other practical agreements that a formal process could never deliver.

15. Do not make concessions you cannot sustain

Any agreement you reach in mediation needs to be one you can actually implement and sustain over time. An agreement that one party makes under pressure in the room but cannot genuinely commit to will break down quickly, and the breakdown will be more damaging than if no agreement had been reached.

16. Stay engaged even when the process feels slow

Mediation often involves significant periods of waiting, particularly while the mediator is in a private session with the other party. Use this time to reflect on your own position, to consider what movement you might make and to prepare for what you will say next. Resist the temptation to disengage or to interpret the time it is taking as a sign that the process is failing.

17. Trust the mediator to manage the process

A good mediator has experience of managing difficult conversations and complex dynamics. If the process feels uncomfortable or uncertain, trust that the mediator knows what they are doing. Raise concerns about the process with the mediator in a private session if you have them, rather than allowing them to build into a distraction from the substantive work.

Reaching and Implementing Agreement

18. Make sure any agreement is specific and workable

Vague agreements are often worse than no agreement, because they create ongoing disagreement about what was actually committed to. Any agreement you reach should be specific about what each party will do, by when and how the agreement will be reviewed if difficulties arise.

19. Record the agreement in writing before you leave

Do not leave the mediation without a written record of what has been agreed. Even if the written agreement is brief and informal, having something signed on the day by both parties is far better than relying on each party’s recollection of what was agreed.

20. Agree a review date

Build a review mechanism into any agreement you reach. Agreeing to meet, either directly or through a manager or HR, to check whether the agreement is working after a month or two gives both parties a structured opportunity to address any difficulties before they escalate again.

If the Mediation Does Not Settle

21. Do not treat a failed mediation as a failure of the process

If the mediation does not produce an agreement on the day, that does not mean it was a waste of time. The session will often have clarified the issues, given both parties a better understanding of each other’s perspective and laid the groundwork for a resolution that may come in the days or weeks that follow.

22. Continue to reflect on what you heard

After the mediation, take time to reflect on what the other party said and on whether there are elements of their perspective that deserve more weight than you gave them in the session. Many disputes that do not settle on the day settle shortly afterwards once both parties have had time to process what they heard.

23. Keep the communication open

Where the mediation has improved understanding between the parties even without producing a formal agreement, try to build on that improvement in the days that follow. Sometimes a brief informal conversation after the session, without the mediator present, can complete the journey that the mediation started.

24. Consider a follow-up mediation session

Where the mediation made significant progress but did not quite reach an agreement, a follow-up session with the same mediator, after a short interval, can sometimes be sufficient to close the remaining gap.

25. Take legal or HR advice about your next steps

If the mediation has not resolved the matter and you are considering what to do next, take advice from a qualified solicitor, HR professional or, where relevant, a barrister. If you would like to discuss the options available to you, contact Robin for a confidential discussion.

Important Disclaimer: This page is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Nothing on this page should be relied upon in respect of your legal rights or obligations. Before taking or refraining from taking any action in connection with a workplace or employment dispute, you should obtain advice from a qualified solicitor or barrister with relevant expertise. If you would like advice on your specific situation, contact Robin here.